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Be mindful of your words at home!!

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Bismillah irRahman irRahim
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful

In one of the social gatherings few years back, I was overhearing a conversation few sisters were having. I was trying my level best to keep my mind away from this conversation because its generally bad to hear someone else’s conversation. However, before I moved away from them, I heard something that troubled me for few nights!!

One of the sister was narrating an incident that has happened at her home between her and her husband (and she mentioned this is not an exception). They had a fight over something and the husband started verbally abusing her. While this is not new in the indian society (and we should be ashamed of this!!), I was shocked because this was a home of highly educated people. Both the husband and the wife were doctors and their parents were also doctors!!!

This is where I started thinking that there is something seriously wrong with our education system, even my friends who all are mostly post graduates use really filthy words in the friend circle!! Not sure, if they do or will do it with their wives but given the habit, they most likely will (I pray that they don’t). I will address the education system for later but would address the following few points for now.

Using abusive words
This is a big sin!!! Listen to what Allah & the Prophet PBUH has said about it.

...And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers. (Quran Ch:49 V:11)

“Abusing one's parents is one of the major sins. They (the hearers) said: Messenger of Allah, does a man abuse his parents too? He (the Holy Prophet) replied: Yes, one abuses the father of another man, who in turn abuses his father. One abuses his mother and he in turn abuses his (the former's) mother.” (Sahih Muslim Book 1, Hadith 169)

So, if you have done this, repent immediately and also ask for forgiveness from the person whom you have insulted with these worst words.


Abusing your wife, really??
Abusing itself is bad and abusing your wife is worst!!! How can you abuse your wife? She is your life partner and one who will inshaAllah give birth to your child! She is the one who will mostly teach manner to your child. Do you want to risk it with she learning the abusive words and making it look ok to use those ridiculous words at home!!! In Islam, we are taught to be the best to our wives not to be the worst!! Unfortunately, we are the best to people outside our homes and worst to the people inside our homes, this should reverse.

The Prophet PBUH said: "The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Ibn Majah Vol. 3, Book 9, Hadith 1977)


Think of your child’s upbringing
Parents are the first teachers to children and I have observed that they learn more from observing other’s behaviours than from your instructions. Remember the questions, But mamma/daddy, you do it, why are you asking me not to do it? or But tinku (neighbourhood child) also does it and his parents don’t scold him? etc.

Though this couple didn’t have a child but they may be having one now or would have in the near future inshaAllah. I firmly believe that habit is what makes or breaks you and shapes your character. So, stop using these words completely, don’t use it with your friends as well. If you can do this, you can be sure not to use it inside your home as well! I am sure you wouldn’t want your child talking to you with those same words!


And Allah knows best.




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